Is it possible to raise trauma-free children? is one question that is lingering in my heart.
According to Medical News Today; “Trauma is when we experience very stressful, frightening, or distressing events that are difficult to cope with or out of our control. It could be one incident or an ongoing event that happens over a long period”. My main focus is childhood trauma and not just trauma because it is childhood trauma that a lot of times defines trauma in adulthood.
Childhood trauma has no chain of circumstances as it varies among individuals and is influenced by factors like their ability to process the incident with appropriate support systems.
Children whose families and homes do not provide consistent safety, comfort, and protection may develop ways of coping that allow them to survive and function day to day. For instance, they may be overly sensitive to the moods of others, always watching to figure out what the adults around them are feeling and how they will behave. They may withhold their own emotions from others, never letting them see when they are afraid, sad, or angry. These kinds of learned adaptations make sense when physical and/or emotional threats are ever-present. As a child grows up and encounters situations and relationships that are safe, these adaptations are no longer helpful and may be counterproductive and interfere with the capacity to live, love, and be loved.
Common Examples of Events/Circumstances That Cause Trauma:
- Witnessing domestic violence
- Bullying
- Childhood sexual or physical abuse
- Community or school violence
- Loss of a loved one
- Neglect
- Serious illness or accident
Signs of Childhood Trauma
The signs of childhood trauma include; Post-Traumatic stress disorder(PTSD), Attachment and relationships, Emotional regulation and responses, and Physical Health.
The most common sign of childhood trauma is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD). This is a very specific mental health issue that doesn’t develop in everyone who experiences trauma. Only a small percentage of children experience PTSD after a traumatic experience.
Signs of PTSD include: Reliving the event (flashbacks or nightmares), Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Problems with trust, Self-destructive or risky behaviors, and Withdrawal. Most adults who show these signs have been proven to have unresolved PTSD from their childhood.
Problems forming relationships and attachments are another indicator of childhood trauma that persists into adulthood. For instance, you might grow to distrust adults if a loved one or caregiver caused your childhood trauma. This mistrust may persist into adulthood and hinder your capacity to build relationships with other people.
Alternatively, it could be a pattern of entering into unhealthy relationships with negative people because that is what you were taught as a child (for example, a victim of abuse may marry an abusive spouse). Whatever the situation, it could indicate unresolved childhood trauma if you find it difficult to establish positive relationships with your peers.
An additional consequence of childhood trauma could be difficulty controlling emotions. This issue can show up in a variety of ways, such as uncontrollable rage, anxiety, depression, difficulty expressing emotions, and withdrawal. These instances can be more or less. Childhood trauma can have a direct impact on the physical well-being of an individual just like it does on their mental well-being.
For example, studies have shown that children who go through abuse have a huge chance of developing major health conditions like diabetes, stroke, etc. They also are likely to commit suicide as adults.
Finally, not every child who has experienced a traumatic event develops traumatic stress or disorder, some just inherently adjust and heal. We need to understand that many children who adjust and heal do so because they receive the right support. As important as it is to strive to raise trauma-free children we realize that some level of trauma is inevitable as part of life. Open communication and the provision of a secure, caring, and supportive environment, ultimately lower the risk of serious trauma, also, especially when the child’s SPIRITUAL, emotional, physical, and mental health is prioritized. In some cases, involving professional assistance goes a long way.
I will advise that parenting be very intentional, parents should educate themselves. They should learn about the common triggers and reactions that children have with traumatic events. Know when to seek support from a mental health professional, and avoid blame, making sure the kids are always assured that they are safe. Activities and interactions that encourage self-esteem are a must. Every parent must be a good listener, and must above all be patient. It is also important for parents to set the right standard of SPIRITUAL GROWTH, love, peace, accountability, hard work, rewards, accolades, financial discipline, and Support for the children to follow as they are born.
Check one of my previous write-ups for more insight; https://savingthechild.wordpress.com/2014/05/18/signs-to-know-a-child-is-suffering-from-abuse/
SAVING THE CHILD 