YOU MUST SHAPE A CHILD SO YOU DON’T MEND AN ADULT- PART 2 (CONCLUSION)

11374598_1618569928360161_1023275433_n                                                                                                                                              Having laid a foundation for this topic;(https://savingthechild.wordpress.com/2015/06/19/you-must-shape-a-child-so-you-dont-mend-an-adult-part-1/#more-296 ). I’ll go straight into finalizing this discuss. The mind is the part of a person by which he/she thinks, remembers, desires, perceives, feel, and imagines etc.
The mind controls the social relationship of every individual (intra and inter personal). Parents must consciously train the mind of their children and the simplest way is through spoken words. Every parent/guardian must be conscious of the words they use in their daily communication with the children. For instance, a child performs badly in school, in trying to help that child you must look at it holistically. Questions must be asked, and solutions put forward, you need to know if that child needs extra lessons, is it the school, is it that the child plays too much, is it the teacher, and God forbid, is it a condition e.g dyslexia – topic for another day. A parent must look at all these with love and with a heart to correct, rather than jump into telling the child ‘’you are a failure’’ or ‘’your mates are better than you’’ such statements like every other spoken statement gets to the mind, but in this case it leaves a dent on their confidence, belief, and self-esteem. No matter what the child did or did not do, the choice of words must be laced with love, patience, motivation, encouragement etc.
Apart from spoken words, another important way of shaping their mind is by what they see. Every parent/guardian must endeavour to live an exemplary lifestyle as you are the standard these children see, from the way you dress, speak, relate to others, and generally conduct yourself, they see all these and it shapes a large portion of the adult they become. According to Dr. Sears, shaping a child means providing the child with cues and strengthening that directs them towards desirable behavior. As you shape a child’s behavior , the child’s personality tags along and also changes and improves. Dr. Sears listed some ways to shape children’s behavior, they include;
• Praise
• Selective ignoring
• Time out
• Consequences
• Motivators
• Negotiation
• Withdrawing privileges
• Humour
Please visit > http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behaviour/shape-childrens-behaviour
In summary, what Emeka Ewenike (Obi-Chukwu) and Dr. Sear have recommended are not all encompassing. Thus, we must look inwards as well as rely on God to shape and raise and shape our kids.

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